I Feel Like I’ve Stumbled Upon Buried Treasure!

Have you been reading/rereading/listening to the General Conference talks? I have listened to a few and am impressed that I can keep getting something new out of a talk I’ve already heard!

While they were all inspiring, here are my personal favorites from April 2011 (and the link to listen/read them):

The Atonement Covers All Pain – Kent F. Richards

LDS Women are Incredible – Quentin L. Cook

Establishing a Christ-Centered Home – Richard J. Maynes

Desire – Dallin H. Oaks

The Spirit of Revelation – David A. Bednar

The Eternal Blessings of Marriage – Richard G. Scott

“As Many as I Love, I Rebuke and Chasten” – D. Todd Christofferson

What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be? – Lynn G. Robbins

Okay, so there were a few more than I thought there would be! But really, there is so much truth and guidance in all of the talks that I start to feel like I can actually do this! We have been given the counsel and tools to succeed in this life! And these are just from April 2011 General Conference! When I search through the archives of past General Conferences I find PEARLS! =)

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like they’ve stumbled upon buried treasure when they learn something new and inspiring, especially when it will make life more simple or answers a question they’ve been wondering about…?!

What are some of your favorite General Conference talks, recent or past?



-Alicia

The Traveling Husband

image source

Ever since my husband first started working, he’s had to travel for a week or two at a time at least every month, sometimes more. It has been a challenge for us as a couple and as a family. Most of the time we haven’t lived near extended family members, so we have had to learn to rely on each other and the Lord.

For a long time I found myself feeling like I was “getting through” the times he was out of town. When I really sat down and calculated the time that we were apart, I realized I didn’t want to spend that amount of my life just “getting through”. I wanted to enjoy my blessings and family, and live life to its fullest. Over the years, we’ve figured out how to make this time in our lives enjoyable, to look at the positive side, and to be grateful for the time we have together as a family. Here are some things that have helped us (and me!) find the joy in this part of our journey.

-Use Technology: We bought a webcam for my computer and my husband’s laptop. This enables us to gather around the computer almost every night my husband is gone and talk as a family. We’ve had family home evenings this way; the kids can show their Dad a school assignment or a new dance move they learned; he can tell them their bedtime story. Even our baby starts smiling and reaching for the screen when she sees her Daddy. This small investment has really been a great way to feel more in touch.

-My Mom (who faced this same situation many times as a young mother) told me to treat myself during these long weeks. She said it was cheaper than a shrink, and I think she’s right. I don’t try to expect too much out of myself during these weeks. The house isn’t always spotless (not that it is when my husband’s home!) We will sometimes eat out, have an easy dinner at home (my kids will tell you that they’ve even eaten cold cereal for dinner, but I will deny this), or go get a treat together. I rent chick-flicks to watch after the kids go to bed. This is fun for me, and I know my husband doesn’t miss seeing those at all! I will start fun projects: once, when my husband left for China, our family room wall was white; when he came home it was red (ok, maybe it was actually a scary salmon pink color, but eventually it ended up red).

-During the summer, I’ve planned weeks of fun with the kids where we visit museums, the zoo, and the pool. Then we pick their favorite thing we did to do with Dad when he returns.

-Carry on traditions: I still try and hold family home evening, family prayer, and family scripture study, as well as any other routines we have when Dad is home. They aren’t fancy, or long, but the kids seem to do the best with their routines and they know what to expect no matter who is home.

-Safety: My husband has set up rules for himself as he travels, to help him avoid temptations. He doesn’t turn the tv on after certain hours and is careful to pick only channels he knows aren’t going to have anything indecent on. He doesn’t turn the tv on at all in foreign countries. He takes his scriptures to read, keeps busy working, exercising, and trying to eat healthy. This helps us trust each other when we are apart.

I’m grateful for a husband who works hard for our family, and for the fact that he has a good job, even if it means time apart. For the time being I know we can work together to make this an opportunity to grow together as a family and couple, and start enjoying the journey of our life together.

I also found these articles in the Ensign really helpful:
Business Travelers: Return With Honor
Road Warriors
 



Melissa is a stay at home Mom with 4 kids that keep her happily busy. She is in the process of moving her family from Utah to Colorado. She loves photography, dancing, and all things messy and fun with her kids.

Finding Joy in the Journey – Now.

*Originally published on Nov. 8, 2008, republished on Pearls with permission.
 
A couple days ago I read over the 4 talks President Monson gave at the most recent LDS General Conference and wrote down his words of counsel. One of his talks was about "finding joy in the journey--now" and not letting our lives pass us by without appreciating what we have. He said, "With gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days--as much as we can--with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in word and in deed."

I have found myself getting frustrated with Sydney for somehow getting in my way when I want to do something. I don't like feeling that way, and I am trying to replace those feelings with gratitude and remember that she needs me to love and care for her more than I need to run an errand or take a shower or even sleep. She is a wonderful baby, and I have no reason to get frustrated with her.

I also am taking to heart the counsel of one of my home teachers. He said to always expect your child to have sleep problems and then you won't be surprised and worried when she wakes during the night. Sydney has actually had WONDERFUL sleep habits, but every night I remember that thought and expect her to wake up. When she doesn't, I am well pleased, and if she does, I want to be okay with it.

So this morning at 4:30am when I heard Sydney struggling to sleep, I got her from her crib and snuggled with her in the glider chair. It was one of the sweetest moments I've had with her. I was tired but not at all frustrated. She was just cold and in need of a little lovin'. As we rocked in the darkness I said a prayer in my mind, thanking my Heavenly Father for my beautiful baby girl and telling him how glad I am that I am her mother and know what she needs and can soothe her cries. I love her so much. She was asleep well before I put her back in her crib, but I was just appreciating the Prophet's words of finding joy in my life now.

Remembering that taking care of Sydney is what the Lord wants of me right now really helps me every day. Thinking of it as my job makes it sound menial and rough. I try to cherish the time I have with her and enjoy how she makes me feel. I spend some time every day looking in her eyes and playing with her hands and making her laugh. I don't need to read a book every time I feed her a bottle. I can just feed her and love her.
It has taken me longer than I expected to feel so enamored with motherhood as I now feel, but I am so glad to have arrived here. I know it will not always be so blissful, but I will work on keeping the proper perspective.

 Cami is a happy military wife and mother to two sweet girls, ages one (today!) and nearly 3. She has lived in Texas, Utah, and California twice each. She enjoys taking her kids on daily outings and believes every lunch and dinner should end with chocolate.

Talk to Me Tuesday, April Durham

Meet April, of April Showers Design Studio! We were going to save this interview until the month of April, for kicks, but we just couldn’t wait! April is a ridiculously talented web/blog designer who even offers workshops where she generously shares her knowledge! She’s brilliant, funny and super cute to boot! know you’re gonna like this… enjoy!
 
   

Pearls: Your blog designs are stunning, where/how did you learn to create such amazing layouts?

April: Awh, thanks!  I am pretty much just self-taught!  I create my layouts in Photoshop and Googled the rest of my way through everything I needed to know! LOL!

Pearls: There is so much to know about blog design and html... if someone were just starting to dabble in it, which of your workshops would you recommend?

April: Oh, I think "How to Design Your Own Blog" for either Blogger or Wordpress is perfect!  Sometimes I forget that bloggers really are newbies when it comes to design, so I tend to cover a lot of material and go fast.  Luckily the video is available after class, ha, ha!

Pearls: What is one thing (or two or three) every blogger should know?

April: Content is key.  No matter how great your design is, the blog posts should be  interesting, intriguing, or at least grammatically correct!  Also, de-clutter your blog like you would de-clutter your home. (Decrease sidebar widgets, blinking thing, crazy fonts, etc...)  Last tip - keep it fun.  If you end up getting sponsors or getting paid to blog, the most important thing is that you LIKE what you do.  So never make it a chore!

Pearls: Besides designing blogs, what else do you enjoy doing?
April: Oh, before I started working from home I had "hobbies." LOL!  The hubbs and I love to play tennis and workout at the gym.  On a day (or few hours) off you can find me shopping for cute clothes and accessories, going to the movies, going out to dinner...  But if I could take a vacation, we would use our SCUBA certs and go dive somewhere! (We really need to move somewhere with an ocean!)


Pearls:Do you have a ward calling? What is it? What is one suggestion you have for anyone else who may ever get that calling?
April: I actually don't right now!  I'm in a pretty new ward!  Even if I got one though, my schedule is so overwhelming right now I'd fail epically! LOL! I used to be a Young Women's advisor, and my suggestion for anyone else who gets that calling is to ENJOY it!  It's probably one of the most fun callings you could have - and when you go over to the nursery instead....you'll know why :P

Pearls:How do you find balance between work, being a wife and having a social life?
April: I'm not very good at balancing, but luckily those three things are all I really have to deal with.  I can't imagine throwing KIDS in there yet! (Though I would still LOVE IT!)  I just have to tell myself that no matter HOW much work I have, my husband and everything in the "real world" (i.e. not online) is more important than cyber space.

Pearls:Do you have any suggestions for a healthy marriage?
April: Forgiveness and compassion are overly used words, but honestly have saved our marriage amidst many horrible things that have happened in our lives.  Always meet your spouse with compassion and kindness, rather than hostility - and remember that there is nothing that can't be forgiven.  Marriage means falling in love over and over again with the same person! Oh, and read "The Love Dare."  It's GOOD.


Pearls: Where would your dream vacation be?
April: We have both been a lot of places - Paris, Hawaii, Belize, etc... but I think our favorite destinations are always tropical.  Like I said, we haven't had a chance to use our SCUBA gear yet!

Pearls: One thing we love about you is that not only are you ridiculously good-looking, but you know it. How can women develop a higher self esteem and not allow media to dictate how they should look?

April: *hairflip* LOL!  Well, hopefully my readers know that I'm not 100% serious when I say things like that!  I feel like women are afraid of being too "vain" or "narcissistic" especially in this age where everything online is "ME! ME! ME!" (i.e. Facebook) - but I think all women should embrace their OWN unique beauty and display it in a way that THEY see fit.  Because in the end, our blogs and our Facebook, and everything we are online IS the media.  So if we can portray beauty in different lights, then future generations will see that it's okay to be comfortable in your own skin and celebrate how different we all are.

Pearls: How do you maintain your relationship with Heavenly Father?
April: I think the only way to do that is through Prayer. Whether your faith is faltering, or is perfectly strong - prayer is the one thing that connect you to Him personally.  I've had many times where my faith has wavered, or I got "mad" at the struggles in my life...  The only way I made it through was to pray - especially when I didn't want to!

Join April over at April Showers Design Studio and learn a thing or two (or 20!)

Everyday Advice

As a mother who has all of her children out of the house, I know how easy it is to say, “Enjoy your kids. They grow up too fast.” I heard this many times when my kids were young. I remember thinking “Yeah, right. It doesn’t feel like it’s going by very fast.”
I had 4 kids. My youngest was born when my oldest one was eight. So you can imagine that our house was very chaotic, and messy! The following is some of the best advice that I received as I was raising my children.

Remember to pray. During chaotic and stressful times, remember to take some time to yourself and say a prayer. When my oldest was only three, I remember locking myself in my room to say a prayer. When she would knock on the door, I would tell her that I am saying my prayers. She understood this even at age 3, and left me alone for a few minutes.

Whenever possible, have a Calgon moment. You younger girls won’t remember this, but there is a bubble bath called Calgon, and the commercial’s slogan was, “Calgon, take me away.” Take a bubble bath when your husband or someone can watch the kids, or after they have gone to bed. Relax and visualize a peaceful place.
Do something during the week that is just for you. That might be taking a class, enjoying a sport, a book club, etc. My sister gave me this advice. She liked to play Volleyball once a week. I took a choral conducting class. This led to me getting an Associate’s Degree in Choral Conducting, which led to a Bachelor’s Degree in Music Education. It took me 10 years to finish, but I enjoyed the process.

Play. I would rather go to the park, library, zoo and play with my kids than clean the house.

Don’t stress about having a spotless house. We all know that kids are going to make messes, so if you stress about having a spotless house, you are only adding more stress, due to the fact that the kids will just mess it up again after you clean. Then you end up yelling at the kids for messing up the house, and then you feel guilty for yelling at your kids when they were just being kids. When my kids were little, we usually had a messy house. Yes, we had chore charts, which they hated and every one had to do their part. One thing that worked well on occasion would be for me to give the kids a list of jobs to do. Their motivation for finishing the jobs in a timely manner was that I would give them money for their jobs and then we would go to the mall for them to spend their money.

Laugh. Try to find the humor in the little mishaps of life. I love Marie Osmond’s saying, “You’re going to laugh about it later, might as well laugh now.”
Our children are our most precious gift from Heavenly Father. We have been given charge over them for a very short time. If we make the most of this time, and teach them by example, they will give us a lifetime of joy that will continue in the hereafter.

Lori is the mother of 4 children and the grandmother of 2. She is a junior high choir teacher who loves to sing, shop, spend time with her family and listen to Harry Potter books on tape.