Talk to me Tuesday, Naomi Masina

Meet Naomi Masina! She is an incredibly successful woman – beautiful children, healthy marriage, talented photographer, and an inspiration to all who meet her! We are thrilled that she agreed to be interrogated interviewed for Pearls! Enjoy!




Pearls: How long have you been in the Photography industry?
Naomi: Since I can remember I have been drawn to art and photography.  About 3 years ago, I finally got the nerve to seriously try to make a go of photography.  It went from an enjoyable interest to an intense obsession.  Making the decision to take that first step was the hardest part.  Once you know what you want in life, everything else seems to fall into place.  Not that it hasn't been a ton of work.  I've just enjoyed every moment of it. 


Pearls: What do you love most about being a photographer?

Naomi: Everything.  Anything.  The people are truly the best part of being a  photographer.  I love people watching, and photography is just another form of people watching for me...a more personal and involved method.  I photograph many people I know, but many more that I have never laid eyes on before the day of the shoot.  Within a few minutes I get to be apart of their lives, relationships, and talents.  Photography for me is very personal, and the best experiences are always with someone who can open up and relax.  I love authenticity.  I love faces and expressions.  I love stories, and connections.  I pay close attention to relationships and interactions and try to photograph people as they really are.  If you can strip away all the things that can get in the way of real expressions, like our shyness, awkwardness, nervousness, you really start seeing a persons true self and that is always beautiful.


Pearls: What suggestions do you have for those getting their photos taken? What can they do to look nice and natural in their photos?

Naomi: Ignore the camera!  I know that's next to impossible, but think of the  person behind the camera and not just the large black square pointed at you.  If you can find a way to connect with something: a thought, a person, a conversation while you are being photographed it will show in the image.  Life and energy come through the interactions we are making.  If you aren't thinking anything it will show on your face.  If you are thinking....OH..this is awful, and I can't wait for it to be over....it's going to show on your face.  If you are thinking...I'm fabulous.  My fiance is HOT.  I love glazed donuts.  The energy will show in your eyes...and that's always more interesting and you're guaranteed to like those pictures 100% better. 


Pearls: How do you balance your professional life and your home life as a mother and wife?

Naomi: It's not always been easy to balance my work.  It is my single biggest challenge.  I'm sure it's like this for most of us.  We love our children and we love our husbands.  We try to find something to define our individuality and yet there isn't a part of us that isn't tied to our families.  I stopped trying to separate my  professional life and my personal life.  I am a wife and a mother first.  I've learned it's the job that I love the most, and makes me the happiest.  Photography is such a gift in my life, and I make sacrifices to continue to develop and grow.  I do all that I can to make sure those sacrifices are not at the expense of my kids and my husband.  There is always give and take.  I used to get very little sleep, and I've stopped doing that.  I out source some of my work flow.  I have wonderful assistants, and I do not keep a perfect house.  It's a personal thing for all of us, and the best advice I can give is to follow your heart.  You know when things are out of balance.  It's always going to happen.  If you feel unhappy, you can make adjustments.  Trust yourself and listen. 


Pearls: What do you feel is the most important thing to teach your children in this world of chaos?

Naomi: Children need to know they have a loving Heavenly Father who knows and cares about them as an individual, that they are capable of great things and we all make mistakes.  When they are young and we are in control of most of of the things that go on in their lives, we can and should teach them the great power of natural consequences.  If they can learn to feel the results of their own choices for good or for bad then the biggest lesson in life has already hit home. 


Pearls: Do you have any tips for a healthy marriage?

Naomi: I'm married to my best friend.  Respect each other.  Support one another.  Laugh a lot.  Go on dates.  Say sorry.  Forgive quickly.  Hold hands.  Let them always know how lucky you feel to have them.  It's not like you have to be gushing love all the time, but everyone likes to feel appreciated. 


Pearls: How do you maintain a relationship with Heavenly Father?

Naomi: I have to work at it.  I know that when there is a distance felt between me and Heavenly Father....it's my fault.  I guess that never makes me feel better in the beginning, but I try to remember that he is waiting for me, not begrudging my weakness.  Prayer is essential and nothing makes me feel more connected than quiet scripture study.  This year I've tried to make it to the temple at least twice a month and it's been such a great experience for me.


Pearls: Do you have a ward calling? What is it? What is one suggestion you have for anyone else who may ever get that calling?

Naomi: I don't have a ward calling right now, but I do serve on the Stake Primary Presidency Board.  I oversee all of the Nurseries in our Stake.  It is the best calling I have had in years.   I know how challenging and sometimes overwhelming nursery can be.  I have learned so much from the wonderful teachers who work with us.  We are building the foundation to a child's church education.  It's not daycare.  It's so much more than play time.   Understanding that your setting the stage for their primary experience is a really special thing.  Love the kids, get to know each of them individually, and I promise you will find joy in your calling.  Nursery Teachers ROCK!  I love you ALL!!


Pearls: You are obviously a successful photographer, you’ve done shoots with celebrities, and have had your work in various magazines like DanceSPIRIT and LatterDay Bride, what are a few suggestions you have for those who may be aspiring to be a photographer by profession? 

Naomi: Learn your craft.  If you want to be called a professional then approach it with pride and always strive to do your best.  Improve in any way you can.  It may seem overwhelming, but day by day your skill will improve and your knowledge will grow.  Don't be afraid to ask for help and don't let fear stop you from trying.  Treat each client like they are your only client and provide the best service possible.  Strive to develop and give your own unique view on life.  Everyone's path is different and you're experience is going to be custom fit for you and your dreams.  Try not to look too much at other peoples paths to define your own!  Yours will be so much better, because it is yours.

You can find more stunning work by Naomi at omiphoto.com and naomimasinaphotography.blogspot.com

Simple Promptings

Do you ever have those experiences? Those ones that make you pause and wonder how many promptings you really do receive during the day?  And how many you actually listen to? And how many you do listen to that you might never even realize that you were inspired?

Well, I’d like to share a special one that happened to me. A few years ago, when my first baby was about 5 months old, it was a regular ol’ Sunday and we were in a rush to get to early morning church. You know, 9 o’clock can be rough, right?

This particular day, my husband had to give a talk, and I had to participate in a musical number with the primary. We both wanted to be there a little early to feel prepared, so we were getting ready as fast as we could. At the church, I stopped in the primary room to practice my song, and my husband ran to sit on the stand before the meeting started. My song practice was over just as sacrament meeting was about to begin. I hurried into the chapel and suddenly realized that I had not arranged for someone to take care of my baby while I went up for the musical number. I supposed I could give him to my husband, who would be sitting on the stand, but I was worried about him being fussy.

I quickly spotted a young couple sitting on a side row. An empty bench was open in front of them, so I hurried and sat down. They did not have any children, and we were only acquaintances, but I felt like I could ask her to hold my baby.  I turned around and whispered of my favor to her just as the meeting started. She responded with, "I'd love to."

As the meeting progressed, I noticed that her husband's arm was around her and she was crying. I felt bad. She seemed to be sad. Maybe she wasn’t feeling well or maybe she was having a bad day. I wondered about my request and if it was appropriate, but I felt like everything would be okay.

The time for the musical number came and she reached out for my baby. She and her husband played and laughed with him throughout the song as he smiled up at them. I watched as I was singing. When I returned to my seat, they continued to hold him, cuddle him, and play until it was time for him to eat. She had a big smile on her face when she handed him back. 

I then went to the Mothers’ Lounge for the rest of Sacrament meeting, so I did not see her immediately afterwards to officially thank her for her help. Finally, after the block was over, I ran into her and was able to thank her for holding him during Sacrament meeting.

She told me, with tears brimming in her eyes, that she was very grateful that I had asked her. She said that she had been struggling with fertility issues for a couple of years and how she longed to be a Mother. She just started working with a fertility specialist, and without going into details, explained that they were now hopeful about getting pregnant. Things were going well, and all signs were pointing toward success with this last go-around. They were pretty sure that she had been able to become pregnant.

The doctor told her that if she was pregnant, that a pregnancy test this very morning would be able to tell her if she really was.  So she took the test before church, and sadly received a negative result that shattered their hopes. To make things worse, it was Mother’s Day. She said she was extremely emotional and almost did not come to church. She had a strong feeling though, that something would happen to let her know that God loved her and was mindful of her sorrow.

She then told me that holding my baby was exactly what she needed and was the comfort that the Lord provided to her. How grateful she was that I had asked her for that simple favor. It filled her heart with love and peace and she knew that the Lord would provide a child when the time was right. We both hugged and cried. I was amazed and grateful that something so simple was actually a prompting.  It was such a neat experience and such a tender mercy for the both of us to realize how much the Lord loves us and is mindful of us. I’m grateful for a loving Father in Heaven and for His trust in me that day.  I’m so grateful for the power of the Holy Ghost. I was so humbled at what I learned from this sweet sister and her faith in receiving an answer and her faith in God's love. I felt like I too, was blessed from this experience.



Natalie is a wife of a handsome farmer, a mother to two adorable boys, and expecting another baby in September. She is passionate about the roles of women and is currently living her dream job as a Doula - www.doulanataliesue.yolasite.com. In her spare time, she attends births (humans, cows, and cats), teaches dance in her small town, and loves to sing.

You Know Better Than I-Part 3

Note: This is part 3 of a 3 part story. Find part 1 HERE and part 2 HERE.

A quote from President James E. Faust helped us to realize that there was a purpose in us going through the loss of that baby. We were strengthened more than we ever could have been if we hadn’t experienced it.

“Into every life there come the painful, despairing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be a full measure of anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful. The thorns that prick, that stick in the flesh, that hurt, often change lives which seem robbed of significance and hope. This change comes about through a refining process which often seems cruel and hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner's fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the perfection process.”

“Out of the refiner's fire can come a glorious deliverance. It can be a noble and lasting rebirth. The price to become acquainted with God will have been paid. There can come a sacred peace. There will be a reawakening of dormant, inner resources. A comfortable cloak of righteousness will be drawn around us to protect us and to keep us warm spiritually. Self-pity will vanish as our blessings are counted.”

It’s been just over a year, and I won’t lie…the year of “firsts” was probably the worst to go through. Knowing that soon she would be rolling over, sitting up, crawling and walking; wondering how she was doing, what her smile looked like and if she had gotten any more hair; thinking at every family get together (especially Christmas ‘09) that she should have been celebrating with us. Watching as my four siblings each delivered baby girls within the year, and thinking that we should have been first. But, with time, your heart does start to heal.

A few months ago I received a text from N wondering how we were doing. After texting back and forth for a little bit I asked if she would send me a photo of P because I wanted to see what she looked like now (she was 8 and half months at the time). I was sad, my heart hurt…but that is when I also realized I had started to heal. I could look at her photo and while my heart ached to be with her, I knew that she was where she belonged. I could start looking forward to the day when we would bring our own baby home and maybe, someday, our baby and P could meet. We have a good relationship with N still. It’s not a talk everyday or even every month sort of deal, but we love her and sometime down the road, when we feel that the healing is greater we will meet up with her and P for lunch and just hang out. That little girl may just never realize how many lives she has affected or how loved she really is.

Love is not a bad thing, and the more a child is loved, even from unexpected places like a family who has no relation to her at all, just goes to show that there are just special spirits in the world meant to change the lives of others. Birth parents say this often of the child they place. That the child had “changed” them and they want to live better lives. Well, P has changed us…her being born, her life, has single-handedly changed the life of our family in an amazing way. The “failed placement” was hard, and sometimes still is, but we know that it was something we needed to go through. It was our Refiner’s Fire. There is definitely Someone greater than us molding us into who we should become and showing us His plan.

" ‘For I know the plans I have for you', says the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you a future and a hope.' "

"Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others.

The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

We may not be able to see the outcome, but our Heavenly Father does, and everything we experience in this life is meant for our greater good. We hope to one day bring our little one home and say that “All is Well”.

Alicia has been married for 10 years (in August) to her high school sweetheart. They have 2 amazing little boys and have been in the adoption process for about 4 years, hoping that Heavenly Father will bless them with a little one soon. In her free time she loves to create; photography, art, woodworking...you name it and she'll try it at least once.

You know Better Than I- Part 2

Note: This is part 2 of a 3 part story. Find Part 1 HERE. Part 3 will be published tomorrow.

We got together with N pretty much every week after that for the next 3 months of her pregnancy. We went to dinner, to the zoo (we had to find fun things for the kids to do), we went bowling and to the pumpkin patch, and, with her permission, we also had a baby shower. We got to know and love her and her family so much. We also grew to love that little princess she was carrying not doubting for a second that little girl was meant to come to our family.

Throughout the whole time we knew N, I was never worried about her changing her mind. We knew it was always a possibility for birth moms to change their minds, but it was NEVER a big fear of ours.

Fast forward to November 17th (2009) when N called to tell us she was being induced. This was it, the day we had been waiting for for so long, the day our daughter would be born. We drove the hour to the hospital where she was delivering and got there just as she was getting her epidural. It was about 6pm. She wasn’t dilating very fast, so we just chilled in her room talking, watching TV, and “trying” to get what little sleep we could on the hard chairs (we were too excited to sleep anyways).

At 5:57am on November 18th, 2009, we were just outside the room when we heard P’s first cries. It was such an amazing sound. Shawn and I both cried. (well, he “teared up” lol).

Two hours later, after they had moved N to recovery, we were able to see her. She was beautiful…there is no other way to describe her. Watching Shawn hold her was me falling in love with him all over again. All daddies should have daughters. I can’t describe the joy we had. We gave P her first bath, helped change diapers while we were there, and fed her. To us, she was “ours” and it was like she always had been.

During that time of excitement and drooling over our daughter, we didn’t know that N was starting to have second thoughts. We made plans with N and her mom to bring P to a late Thanksgiving dinner at their place so she could meet all the birth family. We were talking pacifiers, blankets and formulas, not once thinking that we weren’t going to be leaving the hospital with her. Two days later, as we waited for the phone call about the time we needed to be back at the hospital, instead, we got a phone call from a caseworker we didn’t even know (ours was out of town) that N had changed her mind and that she was going to parent. That’s when it all came crashing down.

I wish I could say that we endured this trial gracefully. I wish I could say that I was an example to all on how to remain strong and hopeful during those dark times of life. I wish it hadn’t hurt so much.

The thing with failed placements, especially ones where you have gotten to know the baby and were just hours away from bringing her home, to your home, is that now, this sweet precious little girl (or boy), has no ties to you and you have no claim on them. You are not their birth mother, you are not their adoptive mother, you’re not even “family”, and yet, you loved them as if they were your own. That doesn’t go away. Friends and family would always tell me, “You’ll have another chance to adopt”, or “You’ll find YOUR baby soon”, and while I appreciated their support so much, it was hard to get them to realize the bond we had with THIS baby girl. I didn’t carry her in me for nine months, but I still had a love and connection with her that is like that of a mothers. Fathers never carry their children, or give birth, and yet, you know that the love they have for their child is beyond anything that words can express. When we got the phone called that N had changed her mind, it felt like a part of us had died. In fact, Shawn even mentioned that it was like we had a daughter, but she died at the hospital. Those were my feelings exactly. The last time we saw her she was two days old. She never came home. Or, more appropriately, she never came home to “us”.

During the first week after the birth and the failed placement, (man, that just doesn’t seem like a good enough way to describe what happens when you lose a baby) although we were devastated, we were still holding out hope that N would change her mind again and that we would get a call telling us to come get our baby. The first day, we had taken everything that was set up (the swing, the bouncers, bottles, etc) and just threw them in the nursery and closed the door. That didn’t stop us, or at least me, from praying that N would change her mind. As the weeks passed though, we had to come to terms with the fact that it wasn’t going to happen. We withdrew from the world and spent our days focusing more on each other and the children we do have at home. Some might have said that we were anti-social or may have worried when we didn’t call or answer our phones, but it was just what we needed at that moment. To begin healing. Shawn brought home a dog one day, and although he didn’t say it, I knew that it was something to kind of replace what we had lost. I didn’t have the heart to tell him to take her back. That was just the beginning of our journey. When caseworkers and counselors tell you that you will experience every stage of grief, sometimes more than once, they couldn’t be more right.

We went to meet with our caseworker a few weeks later and she could see that I was just an outward mess. I knew that I was a mess, but all I wanted was to get our profile back up and running because I had felt like we had lost precious time in finding “our child”. It was hard for me to admit that I was grieving the loss of a child that was not ours. She told me it was natural to feel that way and that I should see a counselor to try and help me cope with the grief. I didn’t think that anyone would understand how I was feeling, because no one at the time seemed to grasp how much we loved that little girl. She set me up with a counselor though, and I promised that I would see her.

What our caseworker didn’t realize at the time, and what I failed to realize also, was that, although I was an outward mess of crying jags, depression, and days where I just wanted to stay in bed, I wasn’t the only one falling apart. Shawn, who had been so strong for me and for our kids, was struggling on the inside.

I guess I didn’t realize until then that everyone has their own way of grieving and coping (or not coping). What I thought was strength, was really him just bottling everything up inside. The loss of the baby burned into his soul and he started questioning his faith. I tell you this, not for judgment, but for understanding that may help someone you love who is going through the same thing. While I had a hard time getting up and going to church because I felt like it was too much work to get in the shower and get ready and I would rather just lay in bed watching ridiculously stupid Lifetime movies (enter depression), Shawn didn’t want to go because his faith had been tested so much that he wasn’t sure he believed anymore. It was an extremely emotional, faith testing experience for us losing that child…losing that dream of what could be. If we would have had someone there to tell us what they went through and give us guidance, it still would have been very hard, but we would have known what to expect and, I think as far as faith goes, it wouldn’t have been questioned as much. Of course we’ve become much stronger and more faithful as a result. I think that is one of the things you need to look for if you go through a failed placement, or any faith-trying event,…what can you learn and how can you grow?

Come back tomorrow for part 3...

Alicia has been married for 10 years (in August) to her high school sweetheart. They have 2 amazing little boys and have been in the adoption process for about 4 years, hoping that Heavenly Father will bless them with a little one soon. In her free time she loves to create; photography, art, woodworking...you name it and she'll try it at least once.

You Know Better Than I- Part 1

Note: This is a 3 part story. Part 2 will be published tomorrow, and the final part of the story will be here on Friday!

Most people who have never been through the adoption process don’t understand how truly emotional and faith testing the process is…even before getting chosen. To find out you cannot have children, or have any more children, is gut wrenching. There is that long period of time when you wonder if your Heavenly Father truly loves you. How could you not be blessed with such a righteous desire?

Even after you are chosen by a birth mom, it is still a very bumpy and challenging road (I am telling this from my point of view as a potential adoptive parent…of course, there are many other heartaches involved as a birth parent). If it’s a few months away you have to wonder everyday if she will change her mind or pick someone else. You wonder if you should get the nursery ready and tell your other kids (if you have them). There is no security until that little baby is placed in your arms and the papers are signed. This is our story, which we featured on an adoption site, about how we dealt with the loss of a baby….the dreaded “Failed Placement”.

We were 2 years into the adoption process when we received our first email from our profile. Yes, the first. Many couples have at least a few before they are seriously considered or chosen. We were thrilled, and so nervous at the same time. What do we write back? What if we sound like total geeks? Could this possibly be the miracle we’ve been praying for? We had a hard time with that email, but we eventually wrote back, and after another couple of emails and a phone chat, the potential birth mom had set up a day to meet us.

When we met N for the first time, I knew her. I mean, I had never met her before, but when she walked up and sat down on the bench outside Olive Garden, I knew it was her. I could only see her face…I couldn’t tell she was pregnant (she was a very tiny girl anyways so she wasn’t really showing at 27 weeks). But in that instant, I knew it was going to be a good first meeting. We had our two boys with us, which I was kind of leery about at first, but N told us that she wanted to meet them and so we brought them and just said we were meeting a friend for dinner. I can say that there were some awkward pauses during the dinner, but overall it went really great. We learned so much about her and her life. We talked for a long time, I think the waiters probably wanted us to leave. She was the sweetest girl. I don’t know how she felt about us when we first sat down, if she was just meeting with us or if she had already made up her mind, but when she asked the boys, “do you want a baby sister or a baby brother?” I knew that she had already made up her mind. Both boys, of course, announced “baby sister”.

N went out to her car and brought back a build-a-bear box. She then had us open the box, which had a bear dressed in a pink skirt, and said “you’re going to have a daughter!” She then told the boys as she put her hands on her belly “This baby is all yours!” Shawn and I (and Blake and Cole) were more than ecstatic! Tears came to my eyes almost instantly and I hugged her. I had always felt like the baby that was waiting to come to our family was a girl.

Come back tomorrow for Part 2... 

Alicia has been married for 10 years (in August) to her high school sweetheart. They have 2 amazing little boys and have been in the adoption process for about 4 years, hoping that Heavenly Father will bless them with a little one soon. In her free time she loves to create; photography, art, woodworking...you name it and she'll try it at least once.

He Makes Me Crazy.

He makes me insane. Like, I want to scream or laugh out of hysteria. He doesn’t listen very well when he thinks he’s being funny, or playing his electric guitar or video games. I always get a dramatic response when I ask him to change a dirty diaper, and I swear I can never get a straight answer out of him. He doesn’t pay attention to the time, and he likes movies that I think are stupid. He makes me crazy.

But I adore him.

I think he’s cute when he’s rocking out on his guitar or jamming on his ukulele (I just know not to say anything important). I love how excited he gets when he’s telling me stories about his teenage years, when he did crazy dangerous things I hope he never tells our sons. I love the way he’s not afraid to break into dance wherever we are – grocery stores included.

He’s a good man. He takes time to play and spend time with our sons; they want to be just like him. He goes on dates with me almost every weekend, even if we have no plan. He stays up late having heart-to-heart conversations with his teenage brothers. When he has hard days and needs someone to talk to, even though I’m not always in the mood to hear about it, I’m his best friend, so I get to be the one that’s there for him – complaining and all; I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I have learned to love him the way he is. I have learned to love the way the sheet on his side of the bed always seems to slip off the corner, and how he unfailingly leaves his shoes in the middle of the living room floor. His quirks and imperfections are what make him him.

Our marriage has not been easy. It hasn’t even been close to the “Happily Ever After” I imagined it would be. We have been through hard times, really hard times, easy times, sad times, fun times, trying times, wonderful times, disappointing times, frustrating times, and did I mention hard times? Of course, all the good times are in there, too… but those I expected.

Do I love him more now than I did the day we were married? Yes. Am I a better person now than I was before he was a part of my life? Absolutely! Am I becoming the woman I want to be? Yep! Even more so than I could have anticipated!

“…marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children. (The Family: A Proclamation to the World)”

Ordained of God! No wonder marriage can be so amazing, and I have found so much joy in it, despite the difficult times. I know that without my Heavenly Father, I probably wouldn’t appreciate the trials in my marriage that have brought me so much growth. I know that my marriage is ordained of God, and that gives me enough hope and strength to get through the hard (especially the really hard) times. I look forward to an eternity with my silly, handsome, imperfect husband!


Alicia is a married, mother of two boys ages two and four years old and is expecting her third in May. She grew up on the island of Kaua’i where her parents still live after 22 years. She enjoys photography and meeting up with friends at the local Applebees for Strawberry Cheesecake Dessert Shooters.

Finding Joy in the Journey – Now.

*Originally published on Nov. 8, 2008, republished on Pearls with permission.
 
A couple days ago I read over the 4 talks President Monson gave at the most recent LDS General Conference and wrote down his words of counsel. One of his talks was about "finding joy in the journey--now" and not letting our lives pass us by without appreciating what we have. He said, "With gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days--as much as we can--with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in word and in deed."

I have found myself getting frustrated with Sydney for somehow getting in my way when I want to do something. I don't like feeling that way, and I am trying to replace those feelings with gratitude and remember that she needs me to love and care for her more than I need to run an errand or take a shower or even sleep. She is a wonderful baby, and I have no reason to get frustrated with her.

I also am taking to heart the counsel of one of my home teachers. He said to always expect your child to have sleep problems and then you won't be surprised and worried when she wakes during the night. Sydney has actually had WONDERFUL sleep habits, but every night I remember that thought and expect her to wake up. When she doesn't, I am well pleased, and if she does, I want to be okay with it.

So this morning at 4:30am when I heard Sydney struggling to sleep, I got her from her crib and snuggled with her in the glider chair. It was one of the sweetest moments I've had with her. I was tired but not at all frustrated. She was just cold and in need of a little lovin'. As we rocked in the darkness I said a prayer in my mind, thanking my Heavenly Father for my beautiful baby girl and telling him how glad I am that I am her mother and know what she needs and can soothe her cries. I love her so much. She was asleep well before I put her back in her crib, but I was just appreciating the Prophet's words of finding joy in my life now.

Remembering that taking care of Sydney is what the Lord wants of me right now really helps me every day. Thinking of it as my job makes it sound menial and rough. I try to cherish the time I have with her and enjoy how she makes me feel. I spend some time every day looking in her eyes and playing with her hands and making her laugh. I don't need to read a book every time I feed her a bottle. I can just feed her and love her.
It has taken me longer than I expected to feel so enamored with motherhood as I now feel, but I am so glad to have arrived here. I know it will not always be so blissful, but I will work on keeping the proper perspective.

 Cami is a happy military wife and mother to two sweet girls, ages one (today!) and nearly 3. She has lived in Texas, Utah, and California twice each. She enjoys taking her kids on daily outings and believes every lunch and dinner should end with chocolate.

Why Do I Feel Like This?

from flickr, by slunchitze

I had a wonderful childhood full of love and support. I was taught about my Heavenly Father and how much he loved me from the start. I never questioned if I was loved or where I belonged in this world…Yet, the first time I remember feeling “uneasy” was when I was 8 years old. I just wanted to hide from the world, and had this unexplainable sinking feeling in my gut. I felt all alone and scared. That was the day I was baptized. I hid away from all the people who came to support me, and couldn’t figure out what was happening to me.

Nothing more happened until Jr. High. From there that “feeling” seemed to follow me everywhere I went. It influenced every decision I made. It made me feel worthless, and unintelligent. It made me feel ugly, and alone. On the outside I managed to keep it all together. No one knew the pain I was going through. I truly thought I was the only one who had ever felt this way.

Fast forward a few years to the birth of our first child. I was really sick through the entire pregnancy and that “feeling” was at its worst. She came 2 weeks early and was very sick. She spent 5 days in the NICU, and came home with lots of chords and medicines to keep her healthy. That first week was the longest of my life. This adorable, perfect, absolutely beautiful creature didn’t feel like mine. I felt so disconnected. I watched my husband with her and it was so beautiful. They connected instantly.

The next few weeks were a blur. I couldn’t motivate myself to do anything and was absolutely terrified of being left alone with her. I cried every single day. Why didn’t I feel like her mother? One night when she was about 6 weeks old my husband I got in a fight because he was so sick of doing everything on his own. He got up with her at night, he changed her diapers, he cleaned the house, and still went to work every day. I wish I could’ve told him what I was going though, but I couldn’t find the words, so I left. I got in the car and drove away.

I seriously considered ending my life. My husband panicked and called my mom to watch our daughter and found me basically comatose in a parking lot and took me home. The very next day was my 6 week check up, so my husband stayed home from work to make sure I talked about everything with my doctor. Very grudgingly I started talking anti-depressants.

Over the next couple of weeks I felt this fog lifting. I was able to see the beauty in everyday life. When Mara spit up all over the place, I was glad she could get her bubbles out. When she screamed because her tummy hurt, I knew she needed me to help her feel better. I was her mother. No one could take my place.
As I got further along in my recovery from post partum depression, I realized that what I had been experiencing my entire life truly was depression. I could finally see my life for what it was: something beautiful and inspired. I had a loving Heavenly Father who sent me here to experience these trials and become a better person.

Sometimes I let myself wonder, “why me?” But that gets me nowhere. I know that is Satan trying to influence me. I can’t let him win. As the fog lifted I was able to draw closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. I could feel of their love for me, and their support as I experience this trial.
When I start feeling bad again I have to remind myself that everything has a purpose. This trial is here to teach me something. Most importantly, that Heavenly Father did not send me here without any resources to help me get through this. He has blessed us all with the Atonement, with prophets, with the scriptures, family, friends, the priesthood, modern day medicines, and so much more. He loves us. He wants us to succeed.

 
Brittani is the mother of the two cutest kids on the planet (ask anyone) and married to her childhood sweetheart. She is semi-obsessed with reading, and has a bunch of hobbies like quilting.

He Eased My Mind

I was having a really difficult time with a certain person in my life. There was a huge lack of communication in our relationship and I was constantly feeling upset and frustrated because I didn’t know what I could possibly say to this person without it turning unpleasant. The mere thought of this person and all the hurt and dishonesty got my blood boiling – and I hated the way I felt. I mostly avoided this person and any chance of confrontation.

It got to a point where our lack of communication was affecting my daily life. I knew something had to change, but I could not, for the life of me, figure how this could be addressed without bringing out all the hurt and negative emotions I had been trying so hard to release.

I had been petitioning my Heavenly Father for help throughout the ordeal, and He had brought peace to my mind and soul time and time again, but in this instance I felt stuck.

As I lay in bed one night, the situation was bothering me enough that I could not find rest. I couldn’t fall asleep and my mind was reeling with possible ways to handle the situation – all of which would not end well and didn’t feel right. Again, I asked my Heavenly Father to help me know what I should do.

Immediately after, thoughts came to my mind that felt natural and as if they could be my own. A scenario played out in my mind’s eye with specific dialogue and feelings. It was an option I had not considered, but made the most sense. It wasn’t what I had originally desired, but it was clearly the right thing to do. I was amazed how much sense it all made, and I knew I would have to talk to my husband about it as soon as I could.

It wasn’t until the next morning, that I really realized that what had happened was inspiration from my Father in Heaven. The more I thought about what had been revealed to me, the more confident and peaceful I felt about approaching the situation, knowing I was doing what He would have me do under these circumstances.

I know Heavenly Father loves and listens to me, and when I desire to do His will, miracles occur. I know He loves that person as well and He is the only one who understands us both and knows what is best for a strained relationship. I am grateful I was able to receive that inspiration. I am grateful to know I can access such blessings again when I need them!


Alicia is a married, mother of two boys ages two and four years old and is expecting her third in May. She grew up on the island of Kaua’i where her parents still live after 22 years. She enjoys photography and meeting up with friends at the local Applebees for Strawberry Cheesecake Dessert Shooters.

It Was the Right Time

As a child, I saw the missionaries many times. My mom always welcomed them into our home to teach us, but when they started talking about paying tithing my mom would back down and say, "this is not for us!"

Years passed, twelve years to be exact, until I decided to talk to the missionaries.

We didn't know the name of the church, so I looked for all the churches in the yellow pages. I read each one of them to my mom, until I came to "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" and bingo! my mom said it was that one. I couldn't wait for the next day to call, so I immediately called the office of the church, and they were very amazed that somebody would call the office of the church to ask for the missionaries to come to a home and teach.

The next day, the missionaries were knocking on our door. We started listening to them, and when they asked us to kneel down and pray to Heavenly Father, so we could receive an answer about The Church and the Book of Mormon, we did! However I didn't feel a thing, I was very confused. As I walked into my mother's room to ask her if she had received an answer, I saw her sitting on her bed crying, and she said to me "I'm getting baptized!" I was happy for her, but so scared because I wasn't sure.

The next Sunday, we went to church for my mother to have her interview, as I sat on the last bench, I prayed, but this time I prayed from the heart, wanting to receive an answer, and I did! I felt the most amazing feeling in my heart, it was a warm, good feeling, like I felt peace in my heart, and it was good.

We got baptized May 4th 2002 and my sister followed our steps a year later.

As I look back I now understand that the time of the Lord is perfect. Sometimes it is not our time to do something, maybe because we are not prepared. Many years ago, we were not prepared to take the big step of becoming members of The Church, maybe we weren't spiritually mature enough to understand what an important and life changing decision it is to get baptized.

I am so happy that we chose to be baptized, and to follow Him. Today I know that Jesus lives, I know that He is my savior, my big brother, and best friend. I know that Heavenly Father loves us so much, that He gave His only son so we could be here today. His timing is perfect, and it was the right time.

Fabi is a mother, a friend, a wife, a sister and a daughter. She married her best friend when she was 20, they’ve been married for seven years and counting. She’s currently getting her BA in early childhood education. She loves to craft, and share every little thing she learns. She has a strong testimony of The Church, and she  knows that Jesus lives and is her Savior.

Talk to me Tuesday-Marie Holleman

Today, we are lucky to hear from an amazing woman, mother and author. She is also the brains behind a great site called the Mother Myths Tribe. Feel free to visit her site HERE after reading her interview.

Pearls: First off, what exactly is the "Mother Myths Tribe", and what inspired you to start it?

Marie: Mother Myths Tribe is a place where moms can come together and talk about the good things and the hard things about motherhood. Just being totally open and authentic with out any fear of judgement. What I have learned about motherhood is that it is the greatest accelerator for learning and growing. That all of the hard things about motherhood are given to us so we can learn from them and become more than we would have been with out them.

I started by writing a book called "Confessions of the Everyday Mother" which is just a collection of all my experiences as a mother. Through writing that book I started to feel what I now know as my "soul purpose". In starting a website for moms at first I thought it was just about giving moms a place to chat, but what I came to realize is that I feel deeply connected to serving those moms who feel like they are drowning in motherhood.

Not every mother feels that way, but between cleaning, cooking teaching wiping noses and trying to be everything to everyone, a lot of mothers get lost. They start to see the challenges as a sign that they are not good enough, and looking around see perfection in everyone else but themselves, and start to question whether or not they are really doing what God would want them to do or if they are just a big failure. They see the hard times as a sign of their weakness, where as I see them as a chance for us to just get stronger. Those mothers are the ones who are in my "tribe". Through the things I have learned, I hope to give other mothers the hope that they can make it through, the voice to speak their truth, the tools to learn what to do with the hard times and the knowledge that they are not alone.

Pearls: What do you think is a myth that many women have come to believe?

Marie: Oh man! There are so many....the biggest one is that there is such a thing as perfection (in this mortal life anyways and especially in motherhood). I don't believe in perfection in motherhood, and I don't believe in the word failure. Everything is just a stepping stone and a chance to learn and move forward. So many times we are striving for perfection in motherhood and when we don't make it we just decide we have failed. When in reality, we are striving for something that doesn't exist and when we decide we are a failure we miss the chance to learn what Heavenly Father is REALLY trying to teach us.

Pearls: What are 3 things you love about Texas?

Marie: I love a LOT of things about Texas, one is the weather. Some people hate how hot it gets, but I LOVE the heat and I love the winters here.

I LOVE the bluebonnets in the spring!

Most of what I love about Texas is that my life is here. My husband loves his job, we have great friends here, and we are here.

Pearls: Something you dislike about Texas?

Marie: I don't like the mosquito's! But that's not just in Texas, and I miss those who aren't here....

Pearls: What are some of your hobbies and when do you find the time to do them?

Marie: Most moms (and people in general) see their time in scarcity. I on the other hand have an ABUNDANCE of time, and I still don't know how....

I LOVE TV and movies. I know its silly, but I think in another life I would be a movie and TV producer and writer. I love watching how they lay out story lines, and the camera angles. I love critiquing them and deciding how they could make them even better. I have always wanted to start a consulting company where I tell them how to tweak their movies and TV story lines and "fix" them.

I love to go out to eat, I love girls night outs, I love photography and video editing. A lot of it I do when they are napping or sleeping at night, somethings I can do with them, like photography and video editing, and as for the rest I make sure that make a little time for me. You cant serve from an empty pitcher so I make sure mine is full....

Pearls: What are some things that you do everyday to keep the spirit in your home?

Marie: I will say I am not perfect at this, but things we do are reading scriptures at night, and praying in the car on the way to school. The best advice I ever got about this was to make sure that Jesus Christ was a part of every day conversation. Sometimes we think we have to be careful when using His name so we end up not using it often, but I add it in as we talk about bugs, and the weather, and how grateful I am that Jesus gave me them, and about kindness, and how Jesus gave them their fingers.

Pearls: What is something interesting about yourself? ( ex. quirks, things you like or dislike, clothing you like to wear)

Marie: Quirks....hmmmm.....I don't love pajamas, so 90% of the time my kids wear their clothes for the next day to bed....why make more laundry and take more time for just a few hours of sleeping right? Most people think that's weird....

I also am coaching for a company called called Paid to Play Academy for 5 hours a week which I LOVE, and started another website and piece of this puzzle called Revolution Motherhood. It is always growing and expanding, it's fun and crazy as I just keep moving forward and following this path and LIVING my life. Where as I used to just let my life live me.

Pearls: Where is your favorite spot in the whole world?

Marie: I love a lot of places and hope to see the whole world so I can really decide, but honestly, I do just LOVE my house.

Pearls: Do you have a church calling? If so, what is it?

Marie: I just got called to teach the 14 yr old kids Sunday school. I was in primary, and will really miss my class, but I'm excited to connect with this new group of kids.

Pearls: How do you balance life with 4 kids, blogging, hobbies, church, mothering, school, etc...?

Marie: I take things as they come and live in the moment. Otherwise I am so overwhelmed thinking about the past and worrying about the future. I have an amazing support group, especially my husband and kids, and I know that anything that is handed to me I can conquer with my best friend....Jesus Christ. I know it sounds cheesy and over said, but I have had experience after experience, especially lately that have just reminded me that I get to rely on Him and Him alone! motherhood is part of His plan and He has set it up so that we can become exactly who He planned us to be through it! Even and especially THROUGH the juggling and balancing act called motherhood and life!

Divorce, Abuse and the LDS Woman

*Republished  by request and with permission. Original publication found here.

Divorce for any woman is hard, for an LDS woman there can be a couple more complications. The teachings of the Lord can soften our hearts to endure. I understand there are many reasons and excuses for divorce in present times. I have been divorced which seems to attract women considering the same option. I’ve been asked, “what should I do?” many times. My constant answer is to work it out. Don’t get divorced if you can help it, it sucks. Usually I follow that advice with... “but what do I know, I got divorced!” lol. Truth is, divorce is awful. I am grateful that I have been able to overcome my divorce, but it was not easy. I fell away from the Lord. Without the strength of a worthy priesthood holder in their lives, my children suffered as well.

I am remarried now and happy ;-) but the trail that led to my safe place was thorny and ambushed with pain. I align with the counsel of the Lord through general authorities in present times that divorce should not be an option unless there is abuse or infidelity.

For women who are enduring abuse, have Faith that the Lord is by your side. Recognize your Divine Nature - you are his daughter. Let your Individual Worth guide your choices and enhance your thoughts. Gain Knowledge of your situation and your options - its your Choice to be happy. Take it and be Accountable - your choices affect you as well as your posterity. Fill your heart with Good Works - they will increase your self esteem and bring you happiness and blessings. Allow your Integrity to shine through- no daughter of Heavenly Father deserves to endure abuse - don’t allow it. Your Virtue will guide you to remember these values and abide by them. Your Heavenly Father is there for you. He will guide and protect you if you let him. I have a personal testimony of this. Love yourself - you are great!

When you decide to begin the healing process from abuse or divorce, remember to keep close to the Lord, “*healing comes through the unwavering love of Heavenly Father for each of His children.... the power of healing is inherent in the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”

You will be tempted to “*undermine your self-confidence, destroy trust, create fear and generate feelings of despair” - don’t succumb. You have to believe you can resolve these, very real, but negative consequences. If you don’t, you will not recover. You will hear criticism, you will feel guilty, and you will hear gossip; absorb what you need and discard what you don't. Mature into thicker skin, it will help your journey.

The worst thing an abuse victim can do is feel sorry for themselves. Be brave; be strong, “fake it ‘til you make it” if you have to. If you really want to overcome abuse, you have to start believing you can overcome it and start working towards that goal. Don't waste time sulking. Trust me, you will regret it.

Make conscious efforts to build your worth. Assert your positive traits. Defend your significance with all your strength. It is part of the Lord’s plan that you understand the actions that are worthy of you as his daughter so that you can make choices that bring joy to your life. Not temporal enjoyment but true eternal happiness.
Inundate your thoughts with love, and forgiveness. Abuse can damage your ability to form healthy human relationships. “*Even when it may seem very difficult to pray, kneel and ask Heavenly Father to give you the capacity to trust Him and to feel His love for you.” Prayer in my darkest days was my brightest consolation. Never believe Satan’s lies that you are not worthy to pray. What earthly parent would deny their child a shoulder to cry on and not console them? So much more is His love that He will give you spiritual healing. Talk to Him with your heart. Pour out your thoughts and be honest. If you are mad tell Him. If you are sad tell Him. He is there, He will listen. Be humble, be childlike. You are His baby. I have learned this through my process.

This eternal truth was one that took me years to understand. Begin analyzing and pray that you may comprehend and accept this principle so that you may unravel diverted blame: “*It was Satan’s proposal that Father’s children be forced to obey, that there be no moral agency and therefore no personal growth. To preserve moral agency, the Lord does not restrain individuals from improper use of that agency. However, He will punish them for such acts unless there is full repentance. Through the Holy Ghost, He sends warning promptings to the abuser, but often that individual’s degrading appetite is so powerful that it blocks out that spiritual guidance. That is why our Father provided a way to heal the consequences of acts that, through force, misuse of authority, or fear of another, temporarily take away the agency of the abused.”

In the end, I remember talking to my good friend Irazema and listening and telling her, “Man this sucks, amiga. Don’t know what to say or how to fix it”. But as President Scott said, “…*there is no magic solution, no simple balm to provide healing, nor is there an easy path to the complete remedy. The cure requires profound faith in Jesus Christ and in His infinite capacity to heal. It is rooted in an understanding of doctrine and a resolute determination to follow it. (Richard G. Scott, To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse, April 2008)”

Time heals all things. The Lord knows this and in his plan to help us attain exaltation, patience is a key virtue. Stay strong. When you fall, because you will trip, dust off and get back on track. Keep your head up. Things will be alright.

Some practical, every day things that help:
Clinging to the counsel of the Lord
Prayer
Scripture Reading
If you have children, commit to being a great mother, search out ways to do this
Rediscover your family
Love your mom and dad
Serve Others
Good Support System
Counseling
Assertions
Goal Planning
Keeping busy
Stayin in holy places
Reading self help books
Writing in a journal (it is empowering to go back an read entries that help you gauge your progress.)

A book I loved:
"Surviving Domestic Violence" by Elaine Weiss

*Quotes by Richard G. Scott, To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse, April 2008

 
Flor has 3 children under the age of five, is 26 and just embarked on her second marriage. She loves her heritage, wants to go to Law School and own a business. She wants to share her story of overcoming abuse, domestic violence and staying strong. Visit her blog at http://FlorecitaGrowingUp.Com

Stranded

When I was a child, we were driving to meet my dad at a campsite with chili for the scouts. We got lost and it started snowing. We had all the girls in our cold van. It was a cargo van with little heat. It snowed more and more until we got stuck and could not push ourselves out. It was just too slick. My mom told us that we needed to pray. We were on a deserted side-road in the middle of nowhere and we didn’t know where we could go to find any civilization. After we prayed, we waited. After about 10 minutes, a truck pulled up and a man told us that he felt he needed to drive that way. He pulled us out of the snow and directed us back to the main road. It was amazing to witness my mother's faith that night.



Michelle is the mother of 6 amazing children. She was raised a member of The Church. She has a wonderful husband. She believes in prayer and in miracles.

Get Ready for General Conference

So… General Conference is this weekend! My husband and I love General Conference weekends! So does my four year old! He actually looks forward to General Conference…. the secret? He gets to play bingo with skittles or m&ms, and we usually get a bunch of treats. He learned the word “Commandments” last time… you know, he got to put a treat  on that space every time he heard the word, so he would get super excited every time someone said it.. even if  there was already a treat on that space! It was pretty funny. We also had him find the person speaking in the Ensign from last Conference Address (you know, in the center of the magazine where all the pictures are), and he liked that – but that’s his personality, we’ll see how the almost 3 year old handles this weekend… it could be an adventure!

We all lounge around in the living room together (pillows and blanket spread everywhere)… Kids have things to color and activities to keep them occupied, the teenagers have their packets with crossword puzzles, random trivia and places to take notes… I’ve got my journal and Cam snacks on his Red Vines and Junior Mints, and helps keep the peace and all the boys in line so I can enjoy it. =)

I am especially looking forward to listening to Sis. Beck speak! I was privileged to listen to let her speak a few weeks ago at our local tabernacle and it was incredible! She is incredible.

There are tons of printables for General Conference around the Blogosphere, but I thought I would share my favorites that I’ve found, in hopes that it makes your weekend a little less stressful and a little more enjoyable!

Sugardoodle has some great packets for all ages! You can print the whole thing, or just the pages you think your kids would like. I especially love the Youth Packets they have. We used them in October, and they kept the teenagers (my brother-in-laws ages 15 & 17) busy enough.

The best “Bingo” printable I’ve found are the “Conference Squares” on the Official LDS site. There are other activities for children there, too!

Somewhat Simple has a cute, printable, “My General Conference Journal” for kids that can read, or at least write.

Visiting Teaching.net has a great printable for adults to take notes on. You can print as many as you need. I especially like the different places to organize the thoughts you may have during the talk. 

What else do you do in preparation for General Conference?

-Alicia

Tender Mercies of the Lord

This past summer I went through a very difficult time.  I was pregnant with our second child, and I waited until I was 12 weeks along to start telling my friends.  Every woman in my family has had at least one miscarriage, and I wanted to wait until I was “safe”.

Well, I started telling my friends on a Saturday morning, and on Sunday I started bleeding.  My first check-up was scheduled for that Monday, and there wasn’t anything they could do for me until I had my ultrasound.  I still remember the complete silence during the ultrasound, as the nurse checked for signs of a thriving life growing in my womb, and found none.  I was shocked, devastated, and overwhelmed. 

To make matters even more complicated, my husband had left two weeks earlier for a summer job half-away across the country.  I was supposed to leave that week on a road trip to meet him at his new job and then attend his sister’s wedding a few days later. 

That week was probably the most difficult of my life.  I was in and out of doctors offices for 3 or 4 days.  After a day in the hospital, I started a cross-country road trip with my mother and my two-year-old son.  Every day something went wrong.  One day I took my medicines on an empty stomach and ended up so sick that we were delayed 3 hours just waiting for me to get better.  One day I lost my wallet in the middle of Iowa.  One day my mother and I both had bad headaches and we had to stop driving early.  Every day was a roller-coaster of emotions and a serious test of my faith.

What I remember about that week more than anything else, though, is the series of miracles that got me through.  The first miracle came while I was scheduling my doctor’s appointment.  When I had called to schedule my appointment weeks earlier, the only person I knew at the entire hospital just “happened” to be answering the phones, which was not her usual job.  She was able to schedule me for my registration appointment and my ultrasound on the same day, only because she was my friend and she knew I was leaving town right after that.  Without the ultrasound, I could have been bleeding for days or weeks, and I could have had some pretty serious complications. 

The next miracle was that my mother flew into town at the very time I needed her.  My husband was out of town, I was an emotional wreck, and without my mother to watch my son and comfort me, I would have been completely broken.  I run a home day care and I’m very used to taking care of other people.  This time, I needed someone to take care of me, and Heavenly Father sent my mother.

Another miracle was all the generous love and support I found in my ward family during those few days.  A great many people came to my aid, and I will always remember their kindness to me.  Most importantly, they helped me make an important decision to have a simple surgery done that I wasn’t sure I needed.  A week later, while I was half-way across the country, the doctors office called to tell me that I had tested positive for abnormal cells, and if I hadn’t had the surgery, there was a chance that those cells would have grown into a tumor.

Yet another miracle came when I lost my wallet during my road trip.  We stopped at a restaurant for dinner, and we were on the phone trying to make arrangements to get me to my sister-in-laws wedding.  When I needed to look at my license, I realized my entire wallet was missing.  What a devastating moment!  I starting crying, told my husband that there just wasn’t any way I was going to make it to the wedding, and hung up the phone.  And yet, after a quick and heartfelt prayer, I remembered exactly where I had left my wallet.  And even though I had left it in a library which was closed for the weekend, someone had taken my wallet to the local police station.  Heavenly Father had preserved my wallet for me, had made sure that nothing bad had happened to it, and prepared a way for me to retrieve it and continue on my journey.

These are some of the most memorable moments of the week, although there are many more.  When I look back on it, I am filled with gratitude to my Father in Heaven.  I join with the prophet Nephi in sharing my testimony that “the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance”(1 Nephi 1: 20).  The Lord delivered me from disease, from guilt, from depression, and from many other things that week.  I know that I am a daughter of God, who loves me, and I love Him.

Jenni has a wonderful almost 3-year-old who keeps her very busy.  She runs a small home day care.  She loves to cook, read, sing, and learn new things.  Her husband is almost done with graduate school, and they are excited for new adventures in their future. 

Talk to Me Tuesday, April Durham

Meet April, of April Showers Design Studio! We were going to save this interview until the month of April, for kicks, but we just couldn’t wait! April is a ridiculously talented web/blog designer who even offers workshops where she generously shares her knowledge! She’s brilliant, funny and super cute to boot! know you’re gonna like this… enjoy!
 
   

Pearls: Your blog designs are stunning, where/how did you learn to create such amazing layouts?

April: Awh, thanks!  I am pretty much just self-taught!  I create my layouts in Photoshop and Googled the rest of my way through everything I needed to know! LOL!

Pearls: There is so much to know about blog design and html... if someone were just starting to dabble in it, which of your workshops would you recommend?

April: Oh, I think "How to Design Your Own Blog" for either Blogger or Wordpress is perfect!  Sometimes I forget that bloggers really are newbies when it comes to design, so I tend to cover a lot of material and go fast.  Luckily the video is available after class, ha, ha!

Pearls: What is one thing (or two or three) every blogger should know?

April: Content is key.  No matter how great your design is, the blog posts should be  interesting, intriguing, or at least grammatically correct!  Also, de-clutter your blog like you would de-clutter your home. (Decrease sidebar widgets, blinking thing, crazy fonts, etc...)  Last tip - keep it fun.  If you end up getting sponsors or getting paid to blog, the most important thing is that you LIKE what you do.  So never make it a chore!

Pearls: Besides designing blogs, what else do you enjoy doing?
April: Oh, before I started working from home I had "hobbies." LOL!  The hubbs and I love to play tennis and workout at the gym.  On a day (or few hours) off you can find me shopping for cute clothes and accessories, going to the movies, going out to dinner...  But if I could take a vacation, we would use our SCUBA certs and go dive somewhere! (We really need to move somewhere with an ocean!)


Pearls:Do you have a ward calling? What is it? What is one suggestion you have for anyone else who may ever get that calling?
April: I actually don't right now!  I'm in a pretty new ward!  Even if I got one though, my schedule is so overwhelming right now I'd fail epically! LOL! I used to be a Young Women's advisor, and my suggestion for anyone else who gets that calling is to ENJOY it!  It's probably one of the most fun callings you could have - and when you go over to the nursery instead....you'll know why :P

Pearls:How do you find balance between work, being a wife and having a social life?
April: I'm not very good at balancing, but luckily those three things are all I really have to deal with.  I can't imagine throwing KIDS in there yet! (Though I would still LOVE IT!)  I just have to tell myself that no matter HOW much work I have, my husband and everything in the "real world" (i.e. not online) is more important than cyber space.

Pearls:Do you have any suggestions for a healthy marriage?
April: Forgiveness and compassion are overly used words, but honestly have saved our marriage amidst many horrible things that have happened in our lives.  Always meet your spouse with compassion and kindness, rather than hostility - and remember that there is nothing that can't be forgiven.  Marriage means falling in love over and over again with the same person! Oh, and read "The Love Dare."  It's GOOD.


Pearls: Where would your dream vacation be?
April: We have both been a lot of places - Paris, Hawaii, Belize, etc... but I think our favorite destinations are always tropical.  Like I said, we haven't had a chance to use our SCUBA gear yet!

Pearls: One thing we love about you is that not only are you ridiculously good-looking, but you know it. How can women develop a higher self esteem and not allow media to dictate how they should look?

April: *hairflip* LOL!  Well, hopefully my readers know that I'm not 100% serious when I say things like that!  I feel like women are afraid of being too "vain" or "narcissistic" especially in this age where everything online is "ME! ME! ME!" (i.e. Facebook) - but I think all women should embrace their OWN unique beauty and display it in a way that THEY see fit.  Because in the end, our blogs and our Facebook, and everything we are online IS the media.  So if we can portray beauty in different lights, then future generations will see that it's okay to be comfortable in your own skin and celebrate how different we all are.

Pearls: How do you maintain your relationship with Heavenly Father?
April: I think the only way to do that is through Prayer. Whether your faith is faltering, or is perfectly strong - prayer is the one thing that connect you to Him personally.  I've had many times where my faith has wavered, or I got "mad" at the struggles in my life...  The only way I made it through was to pray - especially when I didn't want to!

Join April over at April Showers Design Studio and learn a thing or two (or 20!)